Choosing A Friend

July 20, 2012 § Leave a comment


Most of us have close friends. Some, more than others. However, when taking and becoming a friend there are certain points to consider, especially as when we become a friend to somebody, there are certain obligations we must fulfil towards them.


The first and foremost quality that we should seek in a friend is someone who is intelligent enough. It doesn’t mean that the friend goes to an Ivy League school or has bags of diplomas. The friend ought to have a certain degree of common sense and wit about them. For, when we seek advice from and consult with our friends, they should be able to advise us in the best possible way, taking into consideration all of our circumstances.

Note: I do have to stress that a person’s intelligence is not dependent on their qualification or profession.

2.Well mannered

The person whom you befriend should have good akhlaq/adab (etiquette). The friend certainly should not be brash, arrogant and rude. For his actions and behavior will certainly rub on to us.

3. Religious minded

For a person to be truly selfless they have to be pious. If the person is not careful about the rights of Allah how will they be careful about your rights, a mere human being. If a person has bad habits, you eventually become desensitized to their sins, even if you don’t take part in the sin itself (sooner or later, you will!). Eventually their bad characteristics will rub off on you, and will lower your bar of spirituality.

4.They don’t tell lies

If a person, in whose company you sit talks about others (true or even otherwise), then be assured they will do the same about you elsewhere. We all seek a true friend…the operative word is true.  If you are not true you cannot be truthful. If you want a true friend, then they need to be truthful person first.

5.The heart is not immersed in the worldly matters

If you sit in the company of someone who is obsessed with worldly matters, they will take that love and transfer it into your heart. For this kind of person has little perspectives of the obligations to Allah SWT.

A perfect example would be the relationship of the Prophet SAW had with his wife Khadijah r.a and how in modern-day terms she was his best friend and how she had all of these fine qualities. She supported him in a way, no one else did, and was a pillar of strength for him when the whole world turned its back on him, she believed in him when no one else did.

May Allah provides us all with friends that are worthy of His Mercy, Grace and Blessings.



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